Larry Miller, contributing humorist

REMEMBER "Short Attention-Span Theater"? I think we're in it, and not on the audience side. I think we're the stars.

I don't believe this is just me, or a third of us, or even half of us. I think it's every American (not counting the fiercest partisans on the left and right, say, ten percent on both sides). What I'm getting at is . . .

Have you found yourself thinking about Iraq these days roughly as much as you think about Afghanistan, which is to say not that much, which is to say, frankly, not at all?

After so much passionate debating, thinking, and maneuvering for so many months, from the supermarkets to the offices to the talk shows, I think most Americans are either taking a breather from the big picture, or have just about had it. I have an image in my head of a stick-thin, all-black-clad writer at the Nation, and a chubby, Brooks Brothers-clad writer at National Review, both getting the latest, daily, thirty-page, small-print, CENTCOM report dropped on their desks, and both shoving it away, muttering, "Oh, Jeez," and then both calling out to the hallway, "Hey, anything new on Laci Peterson?"

And it's not just the pundits, it's all of us, and it happened so quickly, didn't it? One second we were arguing about whether or not the Turks were screwing us up in the North, and watching Baghdad Bob insist the sky was green. Next thing you know, we were all putting the kids to bed, strolling into the bedroom, picking up the remote . . . and not turning on Fox. ("Whatever you want, honey, just not one of those goofy decorating shows. Wait a minute, is this the one with the little Scottish blond? Okay.")

On Friday I got into the car after work and couldn't listen to any of the radio talk shows. I just couldn't. I tried one, then another, then another, then the first one again, and finally just turned the thing off. They all felt so . . . shrill. Redundant. Reaching too hard. Even NPR was so boring I couldn't get angry at it.

I don't even have the strength to get mad about the president going to France. And I would like to, I really would. I would love to fantasize about him giving Chirac a big Bugs Bunny kiss on the nose and saying, "That was from the American girlfriend you said you had 40 years ago." But I just feel so empty about it right now. Isn't that weird?

The Middle East is another thing that's hard to get steamed about suddenly, because it seems somehow they're at least doing better, doesn't it? I wasn't a big fan of the roadmap, but, hey, if it's okay with them . . . President Bush is going to Jordan, and the prime minister of Israel has already met with the prime minister of Suicidistan.

By the way, the only reason I made that joke was because each time I want to say something about the new Palestinian prime minister, I have to stop and think of the guy's name, because he has two of them, and it's confusing.