AH, SADDAM, SADDAM, SADDAM. What has it all come to, eh, my friend? All those palaces, all those solid gold toilets, all those deliciously terrified looks in people's eyes. All that hard work, and you just wind up looking like Jerry Garcia after a show.
(By the way, I love Garcia. No kidding. I was a Deadhead from the first day Hamilton played them for me in school, and I always will be. It was The Dead and Zappa for me, no one else. In fact, my honors thesis was on Zappa. I was a music major, and my cum laude title was, "A Harmonic And Motivic Analysis Of Frank Zappa." For the record, and for reasons that were not entirely inexplicable, the music department did not award "laude," and I said, "Lordy!" But never mind that now.)
Most important aspect of Hussein's capture: Could you grow a beard like that in seven months? I don't think I could. I mean, you've got to hand it to him: A full head of black hair, and he looks like Aristotle in a week. Don't get me wrong, the guy's up there (or down there) with the worst humans in history, and a few minutes after dying I think he's going to be having conversations like, "So you're saying the poker goes in another inch every year? Wow, and I thought the 'no virgins' thing was bad news." But he sure can grow some hair.
Well, the Army did a great job--again--and that goes for all
the folks over there. I remember my dad and me watching a New York City detective talking about a case on TV years ago, and my dad saying, "See? Good police work sometimes means just going inch by inch as long as it takes." Remember how they finally zeroed in on the Son of Sam? One cop looked through every parking ticket in three or four states. Our soldiers are charitable when they can be and persistent when they need to be. And deadly when they have to be.
And now, a quick word on pronouns. In conversations after the news broke, did you say, "They got him," or "We got him"? I think people who said "they" are detached and give credit grudgingly. Saying "we" is more involved, more grateful. As long as you don't go too far, of course, and think you're now part of the operation. This would make you a lunatic, like the guys who shout "We won!" after their home teams win something. These men need to be held firmly by the shoulders and told, "You've won nothing. You need a stadium full of therapists. Perhaps a hobby would be good, stamps or coins. Absent that, you should be drugged and sequestered."
I think two men are very unhappy about Saddam's capture: Howard Dean and Scott Peterson.
Now that we have the living version of that toppled statue, Mr. Dean (Why does everyone keep calling him "Doctor" even if he is one?) is going to sooner or later have to answer three questions.
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