Round 1: Will we ever be as safe and secure as we used to be?

Kerry says that, "Yes, we absolutely must be." The problem is that Bush pushed away our alliances. Kerry promises to do things the way FDR, Reagan, and JFK did them. Bush maintains that "if we spread freedom and liberty around the world" we can be safe. "Freedom is on the march" because a 19-year-old woman was the first voter in Afghanistan, he says proudly. He also says that doesn't think he said he "wasn't worried" about bin Laden. I expect a DNC press release any minute now, since this is certainly not true. But still, Kerry has no answer for democracy in Afghanistan.

Round to Bush

Round 2: What are you going to do about the flu?

Bob Schieffer clearly reads USA Today, where America gets its news. Good to know they're on top of things at CBS.

Bush says that "If you're healthy and younger, don't get a flu-shot this year." The president, who refused to call for sacrifice in the war on terror--remember, he said Americans should go shopping--is willing to do so in the war on flu. Kerry says the flu underscores the problem with America's healthcare system. The problem isn't the flu, you see, but the lack of health insurance for kids and working Americans. Particularly in Ohio and Wisconsin. No, this has nothing to do with today's state-by-state numbers.

Round to Kerry

Round 3: Senator Kerry, how can you keep your pledge not to raise taxes?

Kerry says, I'll tell you how--I won't be George W. Bush! His extended answer includes tax loopholes, ceiling fans from China, and comfortable, numbing blather. Bush says Kerry voted for tax increases and against budget caps over and over again in the Senate.

Round to Bush

Round 4: Mr. President, what do you say to someone in this country who has had his life destroyed by one of your Benedict Arnold corporations and their outsourcing?

Noticing how well the stratagem worked for Dick Cheney, the president decides to take this opportunity to talk about education. This isn't lost on Kerry, who says, "I want you to notice how the president switched away from jobs" to talk about education. Trying to nail down the HBO vote, he mentions Tony Soprano.

Round to Kerry

Round 5: Is it fair to blame the administration, entirely, for this loss of jobs?

Magnanimously, Kerry says, "I don't blame the president, entirely." He also says that he won't stop the outsourcing of jobs, only that he'll cut the tax benefit for corporate outsourcing. Following the Bush-Cheney playbook, the president begins his answer with the following: "Whoo! Let me start with the Pell grants." During the rebuttal, Bush breaks the cardinal rule and addresses Kerry directly. He makes a joke about Ted Kennedy, and then laughs at his own joke. No one else does.

Round to Kerry

Round 6: Do you believe homosexuality is a choice?

Bush says, "I don't know. . . . I believe in the sanctity of marriage" and that "activist judges . . . are defining the definition of marriage." He tactfully mentions that Kerry voted against DOMA. Kerry begins promisingly enough, saying, "We're all God's children." And then he talks about "Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian."

Simply put, this is gay-baiting. You know it, I know it--even the writers at Saturday Night Live know it. When John Edwards went down this path during the vice presidential debate, it was possible to conclude that he was just freelancing, but this is despicable. This, from the campaign that every major gay group in the country has lined up to support. This, from the campaign which has attacked Bush for using the Constitution as a political prop. It is shameful. But not nearly as shameful as the silence you hear from America's gay lobby. Imagine, just for an instant, that the roles were reversed and a Republican did this sort of thing to a Democratic candidate's family.

Round to Bush