The Simpsons Movie
Directed by David Silverman

The makers of The Simpsons Movie--notably Simpsons creator Matt Groening and its Oscar-winning executive producer, James L. Brooks--have been telling the world that, for years, they refused all offers to make a motion picture version of their amazingly long-running television series. They would only do so if they got a great idea for a feature-length film.

Therefore, it is a matter of elementary logic that The Simpsons Movie is wonderful, since it exists solely because its creators came up with the glorious notion they were searching for. And for that reason, the world has been singing Deo Gratias in anticipation of its release. The series has banked a great deal of goodwill over the 18 years of its run, and Brooks and Groening are cashing in.

"I know the picture is funny," Brooks told Entertainment Weekly about the movie, in what seemed to be a becoming display of false modesty.

Or was it? Maybe Brooks was actually speaking in these defensive terms because he knows the truth: The Simpsons Movie is a depressing, demoralizing dud. It was written by no fewer than 11 people, and judging from the final product, I would guess at least eight of them were in a crummy mood the entire time.

Perhaps that's because they had to sit around thinking up jokes to match the bizarre storyline Brooks and Groening thought was so inspired: Homer Simpson pollutes the lake outside his hometown with pig poop and, in response, a psychotic administrator from the Environmental

This could have been the source for a great many funny bits, except that we don't actually get to see it happen. Instead, we follow Homer Simpson, his wife Marge, and Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, all of whom have decamped to Alaska. The decision to remove the Simpsons from Springfield is one of the more mystifying choices in a movie filled with mystifying choices, as in the unthinkable decision to give the show's greatest character, Apu of the Kwik-E-Mart, about three seconds of screen time while the annoying Comic Book Guy character pops up every 10 minutes.

The great satiric point of The Simpsons on television is that Springfield is all of America jammed into one small town. There's no need to go anywhere else because all of America's craziness can be found right there. Strange that the show's own creative team didn't understand that. Strange, too, that the movie spends so little time with Springfield's glorious array of memorable and amusing characters.

The movie's treatment of the Simpson family is by far its most distressing feature. Homer is really hateful here, an irredeemably awful lout until the predictable and unearned heroic finale. This narcissistic, cruel, and destructive creep brings about Springfield's ruin. This leads his fellow townspeople to come after Homer and his family with pitchforks--even setting up a gallows noose for baby Maggie, complete with pacifier. (I like sick jokes as much as the next guy, but that's really not funny in about 15,000 different ways.)