I 've been wondering: Can you push back if you're reaching out? It seems impossible, doesn't it? How about if you're going forward? Pushing back while you're going forward would probably make it impossible to reach out, especially if you're pivoting at the same time. But that's how things are in this ever-changing world in which, as Paul McCartney famously sang, we live in.

Well, maybe you're not comfortable with that. Are you comfortable with that? I suppose it depends on your takeaway. If you're comfortable with your takeaway, I do hope you choose to share it with us. Whether you share it or not probably depends on what community you choose to be a member of. I hope it's a nurturing community. And sustainable. To be part of a community that wasn't nurturing or sustainable would be inappropriate. I'm sure we're on the same page.

But let's turn the page! Paul's right that the times are ever-changing, but I wish they'd change a little more quickly, so we could get a new set of insta-clichés and cant phrases for everybody to start using all at once--or better, so we could all return to using the perfectly fine words we were using before we popped these new verbal pacifiers into our mouths. Think how much simpler and straightforward the world was before people started pushing back against something and instead just resisted it or responded to it or answered it. Nobody reached out back then either. We spoke to, consulted with, entreated, implored, included, gestured toward, negotiated with--all those common, perfectly usable phrases, many of them with quite different meanings, that have been mothballed since reached out hit the scene. In the last week I've read that Barack Obama is reaching out to new constituencies in search of votes and that he hopes to reach out to the mullahs in Iran in search of God knows what. In just these two instances alone, the phrase can mean pursue, meet with, cultivate, invite, persuade, or suck up to. It can mean so many things it doesn't mean anything.

Reaching out has been imported (unconsciously, always unconsciously) from the world of therapy--not from the stern (if loopy) vocabulary of the Freudians, but the soft, sandalwood purr of the New Age. Asking for something sounds so confrontational; reaching out sounds so sweet. Most of our insta-clichés are wussy-friendly, meant to rub the blunt edges from language: share with instead of tell, for example. It's why every group of individuals, no matter how various or loosely tethered, is suddenly called a community. In the last couple days I've read not only of the vegetarian community, which would include both Gandhi and Hitler, but also of the Catholic community (actually, it's a church) and the conservative community (which lumps me with Richard Viguerie--no thanks). It goes without saying that the best of these communities are nurturing and sustainable, but, in our New Age purr, we say it anyway. And why tell a kid he's doing wrong when you can tell him he's behaving inappropriately? Wrong sounds judgmental. And if you wonder whether your colleague likes something or approves of it, better to ask instead if he's comfortable with that. Discomfort is bad--inappropriate, even.