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‘So Far’ So Good

Everything is not always as it seems—at the moment.

Jun 24, 2013, Vol. 18, No. 39 • By JOE QUEENAN
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The reason I mention all of this is that I now feel guilty about the innumerable times I’ve given wait staff a hard time just because they kept interrupting important conversations to ask annoying questions such as: “Is everything okay over here, folks?” or “How are you guys doing so far?” or “Is there anything else I can get you?"

Sometimes, it turns out, everything is not all right. More often than we like to admit, folks are not doing all that well so far. With shocking frequency, there is something else they can get you: a clean fork, a defibrillator, a SWAT team. And if a waiter or waitress should someday issue the warning that “you’d be making a big mistake if you don’t order dessert; we have the best tiramisu in Cleveland” (which actually happened to me back in 1998)—well, hell, go ahead and order the tiramisu. You sure don’t want to find out how bad a mistake you might be making. You really don’t.

Joe Queenan is the author, most recently, of One for the Books.

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