Matt Labash

Matt Labash is a senior writer at The Weekly Standard. His collection Fly Fishing with Darth Vader: And Other Adventures with Evangelical Wrestlers, Political Hitmen, and Jewish Cowboys was published in 2010 by Simon and Schuster. He lives in Owings, Maryland, with his wife, his sons Luke and Dean, and his dog, Moses.

Stories by Matt Labash

The Meme Generation

Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your husband. The end is nigh.
Jun 04, 2012

Cambridge, Mass.

It’s been two decades since I graduated from college, and I’m glad to be back, walking the halls of MIT. Not that I went to MIT—I couldn’t have been admitted on a bribe. But college generally. At the accelerated pace of change these days, I expect today’s students to be wearing futuristic jumpsuits and commuting to class by jetpack. 

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Breitbart’s Last Laugh

10:44 PM, Mar 01, 2012

I woke up this morning to about ten emails from journalist friends asking if our mutual friend, Andrew Breitbart, was really dead. “Really” was the operative word. Some meant it in the traditional sense: Is it possible for the human inferno that Breitbart resembled to have actually been extinguished at age 43, leaving his elegant wife Susie and his four beloved children behind? Several, however, meant it as in: Is Andrew really dead? Many of us didn’t know if we could trust the announcement, thinking this could be another Breitbart caper, as he always had two or three in his back pocket.

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The Dinner Party

Matt Labash’s dine and dash
Feb 20, 2012

When I think about the American-postcard moments of my life—-Fourth of July fireworks, Veterans’ Day parades, watching American Chopper reruns—there is none so emblematic as the evening I just spent in the flat-screened glow of the Super Bowl, having a few pops and making chitchat with my new comrades from the Weather Underground.

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The Conscience of a Conservative

2012 edition.
Feb 06, 2012

A few days ago, after the last presidential debate in South Carolina, I was gauging the reaction of some Real People, as opposed to the Fake People who populate my seedy little racket. I don’t talk to Real People often if I can help it, as they tend to confuse the emerging media narrative with their common sense, consistency, and almost touching naïveté.

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Past Their Sell-By Date

A dwindling group of Occupiers take on the New Hampshire primary.
Jan 23, 2012

Manchester, N.H.

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A Hitchless World

12:50 AM, Dec 16, 2011

No secrets are being divulged when I report that Christopher Hitchens liked a drink every now and then. Preferably now. He wasn’t sloppy about it. In fact, he always seemed in perfect control.

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Words, R.I.P.

Matt Labash, reluctant emoter
Nov 07, 2011

For 13 years now, I have been a Yahoo! Mail customer. Notice I didn’t say a “proud” Yahoo! Mail customer. For if you use Yahoo! for emailing, there is nothing to be proud of. As Gmail or even AOL users will eagerly explain, Yahoo! has always had a down-market feel. It’s like buying your suits at Montgomery Ward, or tending your social networking needs at Myspace—a haven for birthday magicians, child predators, and unlistenable garage bands.

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Eyewitness to History!

Hanging out with Spooky the anarchist, Amy the gender-bender, Sid the Nazi, and other occupiers of Wall Street.
Oct 17, 2011

New York 

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The Kids Are Alright

Matt Labash, rough-and-tumble dad
Aug 29, 2011

As a child-rearer, I’ve always prided myself on my carefree attitude and libertine ways. No “helicopter parenting” for this guy, no childproofing my children’s childhoods. If the kids set themselves on fire with their Zippos, not a problem—they can just douse the flames with their beers. Likewise, I fancy myself the family’s Director of Funtivities, as my nephews who are forced to call me “Funcle Matt” will attest.

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Semper Fly

With wounded warriors in quiet waters
Jun 20, 2011

Close after dawn and armed with a local map I take a stroll in empty fields, canyons, woods, but preferably near a creek or river because since childhood I’ve loved the sound they make. Moving water is forever in the present tense, a condition we rather achingly avoid.

—Jim Harrison, Off to the Side 

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Weekend Reading Assignments: Superhuman Runners, Vexing Virtues and the Civil War

Book recommendations from the staff of THE WEEKLY STANDARD.
1:30 PM, May 28, 2011

As with Christmas form letters and amateur poetry, I don’t take kindly to friends sticking books in my hand that lie outside my areas of interest, then insisting that I must read them. When one recently did just that with Born to Run, it was nearly cause for excommunication. Sure, I subscribe to the notion that this town rips the bones from your back, it’s a death trap, it’s a suicide wrap, we gotta get out while we’re young. But I’ve never entirely trusted Springsteen.

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Miami Vice

Mayoral candidate Luther Campbell, not as nasty as he used to be.
May 09, 2011


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‘The Mad Dog of the Middle East’

Reagan was right about Qaddafi
Mar 07, 2011