Congress's Mad Libs
8:00 AM, Aug 14, 2010 • By THE SCRAPBOOK
Democrats were in such a hurry to pass their latest giveaway to the public employees unions—$26 billion in “emergency aid” to the states—that they forgot to name the bill allocating the new stimulus funds. For a while, it seemed the legislation, passed by 247-161 in the House and 61-39 in the Senate, would be known as the “_____ Act of _____” (H.R. 1586).
Which got us thinking: Why stop there? Below, we’ve taken two paragraphs of the law and inserted blanks in place of certain nouns and verbs.
Your task, dear reader, is to follow the prompts after the blanks to create your own version of H.R. 1586.
If you’d like to share your effort with The Scrapbook, visit http://weeklystandard.com/blogs/congress-mad-libs, copy the text posted there, paste it into an email message, and send your entry to firstname.lastname@example.org. Include your mailing address, and you will receive a free bumper sticker (“Don’t Blame Me—I Read The Weekly Standard”). The Scrapbook’s (PG-rated!) favorite will enjoy fame and a free, squeezable, stress-relieving ObamaHead. It’s just like a round of Mad Libs—which, come to think of it, is a pretty good description of the 111th Congress.
The “___________ Act of _____________”
Begun and held at the City of ____________________ (PLACE) on Tuesday, the fifth day of January, two thousand and ten
To ____________________ (verb) the _________________ (adjective) ____________________ (body part) control system, improve the ____________________ (noun), reliability, and availability of ____________________ (noun) by air in the United States, provide for ___________________ (verb ending in -ING) of the air traffic ________________ (adjective) _________________ (noun), reauthorize the ____________________ (body part), and for other ____________________ (noun, plural)….
EDUCATION JOBS FUNDS
Sec. 101. There are ____________________ (noun, plural) to be ____________________ (verb ending in -ED) and there are appropriated out of any ____________________ (noun) in the ____________________ (noun) not otherwise obligated for necessary expenses for [a] ____________________ (adjective) Jobs ____________________ (noun), $10,000,000,000: Provided, That the _________________ (body part) under this ______________ (noun) shall be ____________________ (verb ending in -ED) under the terms and conditions of sections 14001 through 14013 and title XV of division A of the ____________________ (adjective) Recovery and ____________________ (verb) Act of 2009.
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