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The Dark Lady Returns

ADVANCE COPY from the December 5, 2011 issue.

12:00 AM, Nov 24, 2011 • By THE SCRAPBOOK
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Twice earlier this year—first in March and again in August—a Dark Lady approached The Scrapbook’s boss with poems. The first, “To Her Chris Christie,” implored the governor of New Jersey to take the presidential plunge. The second, “To Our Coy Non-Candidates,” addressed Christie as well as Paul Ryan, Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, “and others,” urging them to enter the lists.

debate

Well, the Dark Lady seems to have given up on getting someone new to join the field. She appeared in Constitution Hall just after last Tuesday’s Republican presidential debate. Kristol didn’t recognize his old friend at first, as she was dressed as a witch. But when she spoke, he says, her sultry tones were unmistakable. She seemed cheerful (for a Dark Lady) and animated. She’d enjoyed the debate, asked that Bill pass on compliments to the sponsors, the American Enterprise Institute and the Heritage Foundation, and pressed a scrap of paper into his hand. Then (as before) she faded into the crowd.

The paper was ripped from a larger manuscript. Here are the only lines The Scrapbook could make out:

Round about the cauldron they go; 
Each with good ideas to throw—
Eye of Newt, and hair of Mitt, 
Which should in the Oval sit?

To yield on either we are loath—
So—ye gods!—let’s have them both.
Choosing one’s a sticky wicket,
Put them both then on the ticket!

Mitt and Newt—or Newt and Mitt?
Whichever order the results fit. 
The combo’s more than twice as lov’ble,
Double the flavor, double the trouble.
So fire, burn, and cauldron, bubble.
And bury the Dems in the rubble.

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