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Hail to the Re****ns?

10:15 AM, Dec 9, 2013 • By GEOFFREY NORMAN
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These days, the only thing in Washington performing less ably and delivering more disappointment than Obamacare would be the Washington Re****ns, a facsimile of a football team that is long on controversy, short on competence, and overflowing in controversy.  The Re****ns hosted the Kansas City (Fire) Chiefs in front of a dismally small crowd yesterday.  The sparsity of attendance is understandable.  This is a town that a) likes winners and believes loyalty is for losers and b) doesn’t do well with foul weather, to include a few inches of rain or just about any amount of snow.  When wet stuff falls from the sky, people in Washington stay inside and lock their doors.  


The weather was nasty yesterday but not as nasty as the Re****ns’ play.

The (Fire) Chiefs are nobody’s idea of an offensive juggernaut but, then, yesterday they didn’t need to be.  They could, in fact, have left the offense at home in the interior and still handled the warriors from the capitol.  Special teams scored two touchdowns for the (Fire) Chiefs.  The defense held the Re****ins to 10 points.  Which will almost always buy you a win in the NFL and especially yesterday when more touchdowns were scored than on any day in NFL history.  Some teams took the coin toss in for a score.  But the Re****ins couldn’t move the ball.

Perhaps they learned something from watching the (Fire) Chiefs who managed to put up a season high 45 points.  With a cast-off quarterback and slow-strike attack that terrifies precisely no defensive coordinators around the league.  But the Re****ns almost always gave the (Fire) Chiefs a short field and the defense gave ground as profligately as Congress spends money.  

The final score was 45-10 and it wasn’t that close.  The fans booed … those who didn’t leave early.  The players played like they wished they could leave with them.  And after the game, the owner declined to speak to the press and the coach said it was too early to talk about his future.  

There is some controversy about the team’s name.  Among those suggested: the Washington Expectations.  

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