McCain Jokes: 'I’m Converting to Judaism'

At a farewell roast for retiring Connecticut senator Joe Lieberman, his Republican colleague from Arizona, John McCain, joked that he was now converting to Judaism.

“I have a major announcement to make,” said McCain, according to the Jewish newspaper the Forward. “I’m converting to Judaism.”

“I had to put up all the years with the bullsh** of religion, I might as well convert,” McCain added. The Forward reports:

The Arizona Senator’s took issue with the Shabbat elevator, an elevator that stops on each and every floor, so that the observant Jew riding it will not have to push the button of the desired floor. McCain, who had to ride it with Lieberman on their Saturday work trips, just couldn’t stand the frequent stop.

And even worse — the salmon, a fish that has become the staple of any meal when hosts try to please their kosher observing guests. “Why in every f**king kosher meal do we have to have salmon?” McCain asked. He also complained about having to walk to vote with Lieberman on Saturdays and recalled a joint trip to Germany in which he woke up on the plane only to see Joe Lieberman praying wrapped in a talit, the Jewish prayer shawl. “I see this guy wrapped in a shawl,” he said, “I thought maybe I died.”

“I had to put up with this all these years,” McCain summed up his humorous rant, explaining why it would now be a natural move for him to simply convert to Judaism.

Lieberman did not miss a beat in responding to his Republican buddy’s speech. “Today we gained John McCain,” he said, turning to the Senator. “Your entry to the covenant was a lot less painful than mine.”

The guests included Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta, Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano, White House chief of staff Jack Lew, House majority leader Eric Cantor, and Israeli defense minister Ehud Barak.