The 2010 FIFA World Cup has occasioned all sorts of "football" primers for ignorant Americans like me who still want to enjoy the event. The best by far is Jeff Blum's team-by-team analysis at n+1. It's informative and funny. Here's Blum on Team Portugal and its star Christiano Ronaldo:
The Portuguese team includes several naturalized Brazilians who aren’t good enough to play for Brazil. They are led by Cristiano Ronaldo, a native of Portugal who wears too much hair gel. There are only two acceptable reasons for liking Ronaldo: either you find him sexually attractive, or you are Portuguese. He is the Alex Rodriguez of soccer. Paparazzi once snapped pictures of him making out with Paris Hilton in a nightclub. It was a tan, vapid match made in heaven. Do not root for Portugal.
Interestingly, Portugal's group includes ... North Korea!