So Obama didn't make the cover of Newsweek today. Instead, a traditional-looking Bible with a rainbow ribbon bookmark did. The attendant story, penned by Lisa Miller, makes "the religious case for gay marriage" and is called "Our Mutual Joy."
Here's the first graph:
Let's try for a minute to take the religious conservatives at their word and define marriage as the Bible does. Shall we look to Abraham, the great patriarch, who slept with his servant when he discovered his beloved wife Sarah was infertile? Or to Jacob, who fathered children with four different women (two sisters and their servants)? Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon and the kings of Judah and Israel-all these fathers and heroes were polygamists. The New Testament model of marriage is hardly better. Jesus himself was single and preached an indifference to earthly attachments-especially family. The apostle Paul (also single) regarded marriage as an act of last resort for those unable to contain their animal lust. "It is better to marry than to burn with passion," says the apostle, in one of the most lukewarm endorsements of a treasured institution ever uttered. Would any contemporary heterosexual married couple-who likely woke up on their wedding day harboring some optimistic and newfangled ideas about gender equality and romantic love-turn to the Bible as a how-to script?
Go to getreligion.com for help navigating this dire mess and ask for Mollie Hemmingway, who asks Miller a very good question: "But if you are going to pretend that opposition to same-sex marriage is based Sola Scriptura, could we at least get our Scripture right?" Read her whole (and excellent) analysis of the article here.
On a related note, this spring the New Mexico-based Revision Studios will publish the Princess Diana Bible, which argues that God thinks it's better to be gay than straight. Why Pricess Di? Apparently, just because she did "many good works." The PDB uses the King James Version and changes some of its words to make the Bible fit its agenda. (Note that the KJV is in the public domain and thus tweakable, unlike newer translations held under copyright.) Adam becomes "Aida," a woman's name. And so, in the beginning, God created woman and woman. (How could they be fruitful and multiply?) You can read all of Genesis at princessdianabible.com.