The Blog

If the Swedes Say So ...

10:18 AM, Dec 13, 2007 • By MATTHEW CONTINETTI
Widget tooltip
Single Page Print Larger Text Smaller Text Alerts

In holiday news, the government of Kyrgyzstan has launched a nation-wide manhunt for Santa Claus:

Authorities in Kyrgyzstan launched a contest to track down Father Christmas somewhere inside the mountainous Central Asian state - a week after Swedish experts reported that he must be there.

'The state tourism agency always knew that Father Christmas lived here and finally Swedish scientists have proved it,' Akbar Dzhigitov, an official from the Kyrgyz tourism board, told journalists in the capital Bishkek.

According to the report, a Swedish consulting firm calculated that "if Santa left from Kyrgyzstan and travelled against the Earth's rotation he would have 48 hours to deliver all the presents." The firm says that's the only practicable location for Santa's hideaway.

The AFP also has some bad news, however:

Another report circulating on the Internet has been less helpful ...

It suggested that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Ouch! Better leave Santa some ointment along with the milk and cookies this year.