Vladimir Putin will propose an underwater tunnel linking Russia to Alaska--two places no one in the world wants to go--in a meeting with President Bush next week. Tsar Nicholas II initially proposed the tunnel in the early 1900s. One imagines if constructed, hoards of Russians will infiltrate Alaska a la Red Dawn. Only instead of imprisoning freedom-loving Americans, they’ll simply demand the $1,600 annual subsidy paid to each resident for living on the real-world set of Waiting for Godot.

The tunnel would cost $66 billion. No word on whether Russia will pay this entire sum, or expects America to go Dutch on this frivolous project. In any case, this is only slightly dumber than another underwater tunnel idea to emerge in the last few months. A private real estate developer is pushing for approval to build a $10 billion tunnel connecting Long Island and Westchester. Under his plan, commuters would pay $25 each way for the benefit of using the private road. At least this tunnel has the benefit of being privately paid for and not a deceased tsar’s vanity project.