From the Iowa Hawk, “When America's Communities Need Organizing, America's Community Organizers Will Be There to Organize Them” by David Burge

We all knew Dave was the most brilliant satirist on the internet (or anywhere in the media for that matter). What we didn’t know was that Dave is also a community organizer. Naturally, he is mortified by Republican attacks on his vocation and is rushing in to set the record straight:

What do community organizers do? As you know, Americans today are struggling with problems. These problems include rising unemployment, energy cost, alienation, animosity, corporations, and increased death. Like no other time in our history, Americans are staring into an abyss of a hellhole of helplessness. And this is where community organizers like me come in and provide needed solutions. Specifically, America's community organizers:

• reach out and work with communities in various ways.
• liaison with, and for, community agencies for service within affected areas.
• fight to make a difference.
• raise awareness.
• deal with community issues.
• raise awareness in the community of how we are making differences about undealt-with issues .
• when necessary, refer inquiries to outreach coordinators.
• Help coordination agency administrators identify and address outreach opportunities.
• model timetables and conceptualize benchmarks.
• issue guidelines for poster contests and interpretive dance festivals.
• Gather voter registrations, win valuable prizes.

And that's just the beginning.