Celebrities Pledge Fealty to King Obama

Ashton Kutcher announced this new initiative in a barely literate personal essay at the Huffington Post over the weekend. The concept seems to be 'Pay it Forward,' but with a creepy loyalty oath to our new leader mixed in for good measure:

We call it a Presidential Pledge. We have gathered a group of individuals who share the courage to pledge to our president, and the world at large, what it is that they are willing to do, give, or sacrifice, in an effort to help their fellow man. Our hope is that this effort will inspire others to do the same, with individuals posting their initiatives within their communities. This is not a selfless utopian action. In fact it is a very selfish one. By improving the lives of those who surround us we will in effect improve our own.

Here's the video of a bunch of B-, C-, and D-list celebrities, and Michael Strahan, resolving to take time out of their busy schedules of pilates and facials to end slavery, hunger, and Alzheimers -- and to be a "servant" to our new president. That or a lot of slaves, hungry people, and confused seniors just got punked.