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Create Your Own Obama Speech

11:23 AM, Jan 16, 2009 • By MARY KATHARINE HAM
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Thanks to this web application, you can do it right now. Groping cardboard cut-outs of female Cabinet appointees is optional, but apparently helpful to the Obama speech-writing process, so have at it if you wish. Here's my go at it:

My fellow Americans, today is a illustrious day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "promise", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually move.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces great and soaring challenges like never before. Our economy is depressed. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for hopes. Our healthcare system is funky. If your elbow is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a plumber. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a seas mountains. But parting together we can right this ship, and set a course for Unity, New Hampshire.

Finally, I must thank my righteous family, my warm campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Americans for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of looking the American people. Without your endless efforts, none of this would have been possible.