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We Are the Ones Who Are No Longer Waiting for Ourselves

11:47 AM, Jan 16, 2009 • By JOHN MCCORMACK
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I do heartily recommend that you follow Mary Katharine's advice and take a crack at writing, er, generating your own Obama speech. Here's what I came up with:

My fellow Americans, today is a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "cheese", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually hope.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces clean and articulate challenges like never before. Our economy is bright. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for mothballs. Our healthcare system is nasty. If your eyebrow is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a blogger. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Joe Biden's hairplugs. But hoping together we can right this ship, and set a course for Tora Bora.

Finally, I must thank my change family, my hope campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank hicks for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of eating the American people. Without your tasty efforts, none of this would have been possible.