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McCain Will Never Be Out-Gadgeted Again

5:33 PM, Jun 4, 2009 • By MARY KATHARINE HAM
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From the most fruitful news source of our modern times comes this flash:

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During the 2008 campaign for president, Sen. John McCain was frequently maligned for his alleged tech-gap with Barack Obama, who was famously addicted to his Blackberry. The attack on McCain's lack of technological know-how eventually reached campaign-approved status with the release of the ad, "Still" in September, which noted that McCain "admits he still doesn't know how to use a computer," and "can't send an e-mail."

The ad was decried by conservatives as insensitive because McCain had told news outlets in the past that he was unable to use a computer himself because of injuries he suffered when tortured as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. Despite that, he had made it clear in interviews that he was learning to get online himself and could e-mail by dictating to his wife.

The injuries he incurred as a Vietnam POW make it painful for McCain to type. Instead, he dictates responses that his wife types on a laptop. "She's a whiz on the keyboard, and I'm so laborious," McCain admits.

Now, McCain has overcome both his age and physical adversity to become technologically hipper than his former adversary, who is hopelessly stuck in the dark ages, still pressing primitive buttons instead of a touch screen. Once I see a tweet @SenJohnMcCain labeled "sent from Tweetie," the student will have officially become the teacher, and I shall prepare a 2012 anti-Obama ad based on his technological Ludditism.