Tom Friedman is at it again, igniting a bunch of worn-out clichés and drowsy aphorisms to launch another one of his hot-air balloons. This time he’s getting his consciousness raised (and his “clock cleaned,” as he might say) by the Chinese--of all people!! Doesn’t that just beat all?--about energy technologies (E.T.).

He used to lecture them about their polluting ways:

Grow as dirty as you want. Take your time. Because I think America just needs five years to invent all the clean-power technologies you Chinese are going to need as you choke to death on pollution. Then we’re going to come over here and sell them all to you, and we are going to clean your clock — how do you say ‘clean your clock’ in Chinese? — in the next great global industry: clean power technologies. So if you all want to give us a five-year lead, that would be great. I’d prefer 10. So take your time. Grow as dirty as you want.

But then, “Whenever you frame it that way, Chinese are quizzical at first, and then they totally get it: Wow, this energy thing isn’t just about global warming!”

And wouldn’t you just know it, now he is “worried that China will, dare I say, ‘clean our clock’ in E.T.” Because it turns out that China “has to go green out of necessity [Um, Tom, does a double positive make a negative?] because in too many places, its people can’t breathe, fish, swim, drive or even see because of pollution and climate change.” (Of course, some people can’t breathe, fish, swim, etc., on account of getting their clocks cleaned by Chinese security forces. But never mind.)

And, “Well, there is one thing we know about necessity: it is the mother of invention.”

So wake up and smell the coffee, America, because all bets are off: while we’re asleep at the wheel, the Chinese are going to do an about face, burn the midnight oil--oops, no more oil burning--cut their losses, get with the program, knuckle down, and leave no stone unturned to clean our clock and beat us to the punch on E.T.