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Live from the Bundesrepublik

5:07 PM, Sep 22, 2009 • By VICTORINO MATUS
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Merkel. Steinmeier. The Grand Coalition. Schwarz-Gelb. The Traffic Light Coalition. The Free Democrats. The Far Left Party. The Greens. Rising unemployment. Opel. Afghanistan. Immigration. That's right-it's election time in Germany and beginning tomorrow I will be reporting from Stuttgart and Berlin, courtesy of the Friedrich Naumann Foundation (an affiliate of the FDP), on what looks to be a tightening race full of chills, thrills, and spills. The future of the European Union is at stake. The future of the Middle East is at stake. Whatever those crazy Germans will decide on Sunday will forever alter the course of history.

Oh who am I kidding? Analysts at home and abroad are calling this the most boring election of all time. Germans cared more about the 2008 U.S. presidential election than their own. Polls show a staggering level of voter apathy. And experts are saying that chances are no matter what happens, the policies will remain the same. But if my editors knew that, I'd have a serious problem justifying my time away from the office. So instead I promise to deliver heart-stopping reports from the German campaign trail, blog items with mixed metaphors that will sizzle with shoe-leather reporting. And if nothing is happening, there's always something to say about the beer. In fact, to quote one German political activist, "No matter what the result on election night, I can guarantee you one thing. I will be very drunk."

Prost!