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Oh, By the Way.  .  .

I should acknowledge that I’m extraordinary.

Nov 14, 2011, Vol. 17, No. 09 • By JOE QUEENAN
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“It was hard to tell from the way the cadaverous Mr. Stallone positioned his face whether he was displaying his right profile because that was his best side or because that was the one that had had slightly less work done on it than the left. (Full disclosure: Stallone once threw a drink in my face and told me I had a face like a Clydesdale, a face only a mother could love.)”

And finally:

“At this point in his career, Mr. Stallone should resist the temptation to kiss nubile young women onscreen. (Full disclosure: Mr. Stallone once told my daughter that she had a face like a Clydesdale. She does. But I love that face.)”

Joe Queenan is the author, most recently, of Closing Time: A Memoir.

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