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'Barack, I Own You'

10:43 AM, Sep 13, 2013 • By DANIEL HALPER
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The New York Post imagines the first draft of Vladimir Putin's New York Times op-ed:

Thursday’s New York Times carried an op-ed on Syria by Vladimir Putin. Below we run what we imagine was the original draft before the Times’ editing:

MOSCOW — Recent events surrounding Syria have prompted me to speak directly to the American people and your leaders. After the president’s speech Tuesday night, let me say what you all know to be true:

Barack, I own you. Or as we say in Russia, the wolf felt pity for the lamb, so he left the skin and bones.

Mr. President, we have much in common. People fear what we might do. We each have a media eating out of our hands. We both hate George W. Bush.

I also share with you the outrage at President Bashar al-Assad’s use of chemical weapons on women and children. And I have made Russia’s displeasure clear to him. Bashar, I said, if you have to murder women and children, conventional arms like the ones I used at Grozny or the rescue at Beslan are just as deadly. Lord knows I have supplied Syria with more than enough weaponry.

Whole thing here.

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