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Thanks Be for Fried Turkey

11:15 AM, Nov 28, 2013 • By GEOFFREY NORMAN
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It is the pièce de résistance in feast that includes, in my family’s case: smoked turkey with oyster stuffing, Smithfield ham, Brussels sprouts, green beans, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and various other basics. For desert there will be pies: pecan, apple, pumpkin, shoo fly, and coconut cream. All manner of good things. But the fried turkey is the star of this show.

It is hard to beat deep fried turkey for pure excess and political incorrectness (food division). And there is the element of risk. How could you not love a main course that both the nutritionists and safety police find objectionable? It is a dish that inspires warnings labels for both coronary and fire hazards.  If you indulge, the implied question is: will you perish of a stroke or be scalded to death in boiling lard?

Anecdotal evidence has turkey fryers selling briskly this season. People who purchase this item might also want to order a fire extinguisher and a first aid kit.

The inspiration for frying turkeys comes from the same culture that gave the world the turducken and if Cajun cuisine is about anything at all, it is excess.  Which makes it perfect for Thanksgiving.

Some manufacturers have tried to take the fun out of things by developing devices that can safely fry a turkey.  Fair enough.  But the righteous method still calls for open flame a few inches from several quarts of hot grease. And as Fox News reports:

Every year deep-fryer fires are responsible for five deaths, 60 injuries, the destruction of 900 homes, and more than $15-million in property damage, according to the National Fire Protection Association.

Here, hold my beer and watch this.

If you choose to fry, then fry prudently. If such a thing is possible.

Enjoy and survive this special day. And don’t forget to discuss Obamacare as you are gathered around the groaning table.

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